waiting for twilight

Every Day Should Be Earth Day

2009-04-22T22:51:44Z

Whoa, I haven't written in here for a very long time. When I first came to the Post an Entry screen, it prompted me to continue my draft from last time. Let me tell you, it was quite sad. It began with the line, "boys are bitches..." and went on. But enough of that sad crap.

Today is Earth Day and although we are not having Earth Week at school, because no big day events are allowed to occur during the week of the inauguration of our new school president, I would still like to commemorate this day. Every day should be Earth Day anyway!

Here is my all-time favorite environmental ad:

In other news, my life is, well, it has its ups and downs but in spite of everything that has been happening, I'm still afloat and surviving, but in a more than barely kind of way. That's good news, ain't it? I have school work to do and I'll be going on a run later too...ah, enjoy the outdoors. =] Happy Earth Day.

a year full of weekends

2008-11-02T06:34:35Z

Why can't it always be a lazy Saturday afternoon or a fresh Sunday morning? I don't really have the energy to do anything else but hang out and do nothing. The weekends are great and everything goes well for me on these days. The week is just the killer...

...I'm getting more and more excited for Twilight! I'm pacing myself in "Midnight Sun." I should be doing homework right now though! =0

Onto other things...

2008-07-28T01:58:59Z

I am what I am. I like good stories with agonizing twists and surprises but always with a happy ending. I crave spontaneity but have been taught to excel with structure. I'm easily amused and am passionate about a myriad of things simultaneously. I have a hundred to-do lists lying amongst everything else. Two goals that I have that may be left undone are having perfect vision and flying. (I'm too scared for eye surgery and humans are not very aerodynamic.) I'm responsible, reliable and I rock and rule in my own crazy way. I'm debating whether I am deathly afraid of death itself, life after death, or of the unlived life.

Funny. I always get in the writing mood after a nice, touching movie (or if I'm really upset).

Comic Con was pretty good. I didn't get as much stuff as I wanted to, so I made up for the spending at XXI. Ha! At least I got to see Spunk Ransom in the flesh, as tiny as he was. And man, Ames and I were burnin' up from the fireworks between Edward and Bella, ahem, excuse me, I meant Rob and Kristen. But their responses for Q&A were, as many already know...eh. =/ Oh well, at least I got to be there. And, whoa, Taylor Lautner....new cutie on the block. Seeing him made me RECONSIDER choosing Jacob instead of Edward. What am I thinking!!??!?! =] He seems so mature and composed for his age. Now all I have to do is see how he acts on screen...maybe I should get my hands on "Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?" Anyway, he's delectable!!

I've pre-ordered "Breaking Dawn" and now have to await many months before the "Twilight" premiere. *sigh*Guess there's other things I could do while I wait. For instance, getting a frame for my "Twilight" poster and dorm room shopping! (Man, I've spent sooooo much money already!)

Work is almost over but the vacations have just gotten started. I soon will no longer have a sure moo-lah flow. =[ In other news...oh wait, I can't think of anything else. I really should get going onto other things...

P.S. Pet peeve: I hate it when I can't find a video/DVD of old movies, such as "Tru Confessions" and "Rip Girls." I need to get my hands on those films. I long to watch them again. <3

The Traveler

2008-06-02T02:30:34Z

I just want to travel. (Doesn't everybody?)

I can't even describe this feeling of confinement. Something within me is not at rest. It's not that I want to necessarily get away from home or anything. I'm not like completely unhappy or something along the lines of that. I'm fairly happy, just not entirely content. I feel the need to explore the world, by myself. At the end of my journey, I'll be coming home for sure. There's no doubt in my mind about that, but I truly want to leave if only for awhile.

I think I've convinced myself that I will find something out there. Whether it be myself or some epiphany about life, I truly don't know. If I recall correctly, from the multitude of conversations and readings about traveling, people travel away from home only to return due to the realization that everything that they've always wanted, wished for, or seeking was right in the front of them the whole time. Right at home.

Although this may ring true for everyone, I want to make sure for myself. If I think really hard about it, I'm scared as idontknowwhat. Traveling ALONE?? But like people say, it's something one should do if they ever get the chance.

About "finding myself": Is it really about finding myself (values, true passion, life-calling) out there or is it about creating myself???

room_forlove @ 2007-08-13T14:26:00

2007-08-13T21:35:34Z

I saw Becoming Janeand it was utterly fantastic. I want to see it again.

I think the closet emotion to what I feel is gloomy, with a side of irritation. I was on the computer, preparing myself to become productive, when my stupid cell phone rang. I was also listening to music. So many things were going on...then my brother comes in and I just couldnt take it so I yelled. Man I feel bad about it. Now I'm just more gloomy.

I finally did something off my to-do list that I've been meaning to do and yet I do not feel liberated. Nowadays, when I get the chance to check something off my list, it doesn't feel like I accomplished anything. Strange.

Anyway, one thing I really hate about the summer is feeling unproductive and lazy and lethargic. With my summer job being over, I do not follow a schedule and even though I have so much lousy things I need to do, I cant bring myself to do them. I'm so devastatingly lazy!! I hate it.

Senior Ball Thoughts #3

2007-04-25T06:36:33Z

I am now at the point where I am so stuck and overwhelmed and frustrated that I can no longer speak because I don't feel like talking about it anymore.

How can getting there be such a problem?

OTHER PROBLEMS THAT COULD ARISE:

*Having a bad time.

*Having a bad DJ, thus having a bad time.

*Having a bad time because a certain someone is ignoring you and not having a bad time.

*Having a bad time because you tried to make everyone happy but forgot about yourself.

(Here's my optimistic's side of the entry...)
Although there may be stress now, everything will turn out well and good, magical things will happen.

Right...I wish.

Senior Ball Thoughts #2

2007-04-16T05:04:30Z

I forgot how much I like being around senior council, even if we're all just in one chatroom. Haha. I'm sad that I only had one year with them and one year on government. Anyway, we're planning invites and all that right now--fun and pretty stuff. Shi...z. I'm still trying to study for my economics test tomorrow, WHILE we are having this conference chat. Curses! I'm on page 3 of 20 study guide pages. Curses again.

God couldn't be everywhere so He made mothers.

2007-03-15T05:15:37Z

God, I really love my mom.

A lot of the times I contemplate on what I could possibly give her that could equal to the humongous amount of love and gifts that she has given me. But the thing is, I cant come up with anything.

I guess nothing could ever compare to a mother's love. HEY PEOPLE, LOVE YOUR MOMMY! I'm probably about to start feeling nervous again about the whole college thing...As of now, I'm definitely going to miss home A LOT. Well, I'd write more about the particular things Mom has done for me today but I got to go to bed and go to school and do well and make Mom proud!

[LA PLAYA, LA PLAYA, LA PLAYA, LA PLAYA.]

this is how I feel for now

2007-02-27T03:13:39Z

so I've decided I'm not going to worry about it. I'm going to leave it as it is and let it be.

I really hope everything will work out for me this summer. Pray for me.

SO I ACTUALLY SPECULATED ABOUT GIVING UP JAMES FRANCO FOR LENT. I have withdrawn from my obsession so I dont think it is that necessary to give him up for 40 days (what day are we on now?)

I'm trying to be a good girl and not procrastinate. For the majority of it, I'm doing a pretty good job at it.

WILDFIRE-HEROES-BLACK DONNELLYS.

Thanks Ashley. I found the very exact one that is now in my locker! He is oh so very talented and that's what makes him attractive.

bC

2007-02-25T09:31:06Z

I dont know. I really dont know where it's going. I thought I could not care, but I dont think I can anymore.

L

2007-02-16T07:25:41Z

no words can come up to say how I feel. I always believed I wasnt that good with words-even though I despearately want(ed) to be. My life feels like its in the eye of a storm. That's the best I can describe it. I've been gone and now I'm back and things are happening so swiftly and well, I cant always think straight.

needless to say, I haven't been able to always tell how I was feeling...and this began a long time ago...I think after my Caritas and Tyler thing wore off. Man, I HATE the whole situation with that. anyway, I'm being a teenage girl again- it seems I only need to write when I'm sad, mad, or feel numb-like now. Weird...PMS, maybe?

this past valentine's day was rather pleasant. it was probably the best I've ever had because all the past v-days I remember were spent coming home right after school, heading straight to the freezer for my half-gallon of ice cream, plopping down on a couch, eating all my ice creamand watching the telley (even if there was nothing good on until dinner time. I was always feeling down even though I had no reason to be since I've always been so lucky enough to constantly be surrounded by love. But yeah, this past one, I did not do that! Yay!

I've not been getting sufficient sleep since I've been staying up late this whole week to catch up on my school work...so now I go to bed.

I'm leaving

2007-02-01T07:20:33Z

on a jet plane tomorrow evening.

yo tengo hambre pero yo voy a dormir (it off).

he thought/thinks I'm amazing

2007-01-24T05:00:06Z

Will someone please please tell me what the deal is with Caritas Creek? IS IT SHUTTING DOWN?!?!?!

Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm never going to see Tyler again.

room_forlove @ 2007-01-11T22:44:00

2007-01-12T06:47:19Z

all i came here to do was complain about econ. in addition, i cant think very well late at night and that is what is contributing to my irritation toward econ. i'm really starting to not like the work load and i've only had 3 classes of it. Grr...stupid AP class.

and i'm thisclose to getting super frustrated. because of the homework, i am sleeping later than i wanted to. i'm extremely tired. i've been so tired this week. i'm hardly getting any sufficient sleep.

gosh, and i've got like 5 more months to go until graduation. this is NOT going to be good.

room_forlove @ 2007-01-09T18:08:00

2007-01-10T02:11:50Z

ugh, I'm sick again.

I just finished an 1 1/2 hour nap and I'm now doing homework. I don't know how I feel about my new classes yet.

I can't wait until Smallville. People, watch it! It's going to be historical.

MOVIES TO SEE: Freedom Writers and Alphadog. I saw a sneak peek of Freedom Writers on abcfamily before Wildfire came on yesterday and tears began to form in my eyes. Looks good! =)

passing the time 'til I get better

2007-01-05T01:00:48Z

Since I've been sick for the past couple days now (and I shouldn't go out), I have been watching my favorite show of all time on DVD... SMALLVILLE! I've also been playing with the layout of my lj if you didn't notice.

Random Thought: I think that only A FEW men/boys can pull of the "bow-tie." Tom Welling, James Franco, and Oliver James, and Justin Hartley are the only ones I can think of who do.

I can't wait until January 11 because that's when Smallville will be starting up again. The preview said something like Lex is building an army and starting a war. Clark says, "We can't let that happen. " And then a voice replies, "Don't worry, the team's on it!" There's flashes of footage of future-JLA members who have visited Smallville- Cyborg, Flash, Aquaman, and the Green Arrow. And in the end, including Clark, they are all walking towards the screen after something explodes behind them. Super excited! Here's a still of the episode to come:

Yay, they're on their way to go SAVE THE WORLD.

In other news, I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to get back to school. No one does I'm sure. Not even the teachers. And why isn't Powerschool working?!?!? Well, I've been on the computer long enough. Guess I better actually start doing some work so I can get used to it when Monday comes. I'm gonna start with cleaning Francesca's bowl...yuck.

Reviews

2007-01-03T03:18:36Z

The Company, starring James Franco, was a big fat zero. He hardly had any lines! Half of his scenes was him mouthing and motioning what he wanted to communicate because the club his on-screen gf was in was too loud. Julie, Amy, Ashley, Katie, and Antonia can back me up. Since we did only watch it for James, 34 minutes into the movie, we started to fast-forward to only the scenes he was in!

The Wildfire premiere wasn't up to par. The previews for the premiere were deceiving because they said that the episode would show "Who will she choose?" There was hardly any interaction with Kris and Matt. But there was with Junior. Thank the Lord Kerry is behind bars and it's so sad that Henry perished. The only cute thing from this episode was that Junior and Kris both selected the name "Flame" for Baby Wildfire without consulting each other.

Into the Blue, starring Paul Walker and Jessica Alba, was awesome. It was really cool how the cameras were able to get great shots underwater. And the sharks were real!!!! Though I prefer to be on land than in the water, this movie made me want to go scuba diving. Paul and Jessica seemed to have a great chemistry. Wonder if they hit it off off-screen?

last look over the shoulder

2007-01-01T01:47:43Z

JANUARY. Anger kept on bubbling up in this heart of mine. Regret was a continuous rain cloud above my head. Things got brighter beginning on the 13th because I met a person who never disappoints me- James Edward Franco. Towards the end of the month, I became closer to Lester and I made new two, new, and strong relationships with Katie and Molly.

FEBRUARY. I had formed a huge crush on a guy who didnt/doesnt think about me. I delivered candy grams to his classroom and discovered a multitude of other secret admirers- I was not alone. My club volleyball teammates Sam and Taylor made me think I could ask him to Sadies and that "it" could work.

MARCH. I had two volleyball tournaments with wonderful Caritas in the middle. I met an incredibly amazing person who thought the same of me. I ended up not even going to Sadies, (and neither did he). I ran for ASB and lost, turned 17 and went to junior prom with Ashley and Amy.

APRIL. I joined badminton with Allysa. Let's just say we skipped out on SOME practices. I ran for Senior council and continued to strengthen my love for the earth (ever since Caritas).

MAY. I became friends with sweet Steven and baked him cookies for his bday. I was addicted to Megan McCafferty's Jessica Darling series- thanks to Ashley and Antonia for letting me join in! It was truly a beautiful escape. Visited Santa Clara U and made it my top choice for college. And I STILL had that crush...and he would never know. I was getting sad because I would miss my senior friends very much. Let for Manila the day school got out.

JUNE. Philippines. Got back and took some summer classes at Ohlone for fun. Became hooked on soccer and the World Cup. Played with the idea of a job.

JULY. My love for James and all things Smallville and Superman grew. Became super close to Ashley. Finally watched all the Harry Potter movies. Also hung out with the fam, Katie and Molly, Lester and Ramon, Dev and Kayla. Changed my mind and made St. Mary's my top choice. Started a co-ed vball league, began duties as a senator,did more service hours, and tried yoga. Thought about that certain boy a lot.Went to volleyball camp and met my now, very great friend, Irene.

AUGUST. Link Crew (formed SSFG- I love these people!). Volleyball camp at MCHS. Student Govt Retreat, CCS Reunion and started school. I had the best time I have ever had at a dance at the Welcome Back Dance. Discovered one of my fave bands, Picture Atlantic.

SEPTEMBER. I got into going to the football games since I became friends with a lot of the guys. Bounced between Interact and Earthwise. Was stoked all the time for Sculpture and Clay and MCTV! Smallville Season 5 premiered at the end of the month.

OCTOBER. Became really busy with Link Crew, volleyball and student governnment. Went to SF with Amy, Julie, Ash, and Antonia- a much needed gathering. Won spirit week with the rest of the Julius Seniors. Remembered my freshman crush and freshman year.

NOVEMBER. Made history with the vball team. I received Most Inspirational and 1st team All-League. Applied to colleges.

DECEMBER. Was super late on gifts for the fam and didnt get any for friends (a first!) Started a bit of poetry again. And the love for Franco is still going strong. Discovered another awesome and good-looking band and still great friends with a good amount of friends.

HERE'S LOOKING BACK AT YOU, 2006. cIAo.

Use your head

2006-12-30T09:43:25Z

when I was younger, all my best friends' names started with the letter J.
hm, weird, huh?

That was just a random thought because I met someone tonight whose names begins with a J. And I like him. He plays guitar and when he sings, he sings his heart out. You can see his heart breathing, pumping, and coming out of his chest. Or so his friend says.

I'm all smiles. My ears feel funny. My eyes are tired. And my back is killing me. I want to sleep but for some odd reason, I've stayed up to listen to music. I should share who I am listening to (oh, the cd JUST ended) but I want to keep them to myself for awhile. C'mon EVERYBODY wants to do that at some point. And the reason being is that the band is so good, so special because YOU "found" them. Well call me selfish but I know YOU'RE keeping some music from me by not informing me at all.

Anyway, I'm going. LATERZ! (<-which is referencing Dawn Styles from "Spirit," a Smallville Season 4 episode, which I watched today.)

I love the name James.

2006-12-24T07:42:42Z

And I'm not just saying that. I didn't even realize it right away.

James

It's beautiful, ain't it?

haha. I'm only half-joking.

Let's see, it all started with James Franco, then James Blunt, James from the Santa Clara summer camp(I was there for volleyball and he for baseball), and now I might be liking the James Dean also!

So you see I didnt start liking the name James until I realized that several things I adore have the name James.

Furthermore, Jimmy is a nickname for James so that's why I love Jimmy Eat World too. Oh and Jimmy Olsen from Smallville is pretty cool too. My grandpa is named James as well. Wow, this is totally awesome. I'm gonna name my kid James, just because.

Christmas Eve tomorrow or in approximately 15 minutes or so. Happy Holidays everyone.

room_forlove @ 2006-11-24T20:24:00

2006-11-25T04:24:08Z

thanksgiving wasnt that great. i am soooo disappointed.

in other news, i had a wonderful thanksgiving eve! Orange J. Bean came over for a quasi-suprise visit and though i didnt know it, it is what i needed. so thanks, black_berry.

i hate it when the timing with another person is all of. like when someone is in your life, then he leaves and you kinda forget about him, then he comes back and everything is okay but then you both leave, and then you see each other every once and again and you realize something but he's now got someone else...dont you hate that? it makes me sad and a bit regretful. i get that feeling of "what if..?"

Frozen

2006-11-13T05:10:52Z

Busy as usual. In the middle of doing homework but once again, distracted. I better not be like this in college! So let's freeze the world to update:

I couldnt believe I was in the same building as him... The James Blunt World Tour concert was wonderful. So surreal though.

Went to St. Mary's College today. It's definitely the school for me. I dont want any other place.

NCS this week. People, come to the game this Wednesday @ 7 pm at Moreau. Be there or be square.

So I saw this one guy but I was too shy to say hello. I feel regretful. Even before, I usually felt like that with him. Wonder what this means?

It's been so cold lately...Winter is coming!! My toes are always feeling frozen now.

I need______________.

2006-10-30T02:43:11Z

Life has been so hectic, I havent had the time to breathe and relax. I'm glad October is drawing to a close, but at the same time, sad because it's my last for high school. Spirit Week was better than words could say. However, we didnt win the game and the dance was not so good to my tastes either. The dance in fact was terrible. Overall I just had a terrible time. I absolutely loved my dress but that didnt really compensate for all the disappointments I encountered that night. But maybe I should stop being pessimistic. I'll get back to that later. Let's see...the good things: my dress, seeing Jules again, Kelly Clarkson, IHOP(I came hungry and left happy)and that's about it. Bad things now: dinner in a flash, not being in the SSFG picture, basically the dance/music itself, witnessing intoxication, having my impression of a person being ripped to pieces, having to open the doors for homecoming court,not being able to say anything and prolong anything with him, getting home late, having Mom be mad at me, and feeling disappointed in many areas of my life.

I lost what ever I was feeling from the beginning of the year. Before I was on top of it all and accomplishing a myriad of things. But now everything is dwindling down a bit and I feel as if I have no energy or willpower to finish anything else, like college applications and anything related to it<--which may be the most important thing this year! I still have to study for my subject tests which are this weekend!! Shoot, I'm in trouble! I dont even want to go to UCs. I like small-medium size schools. I have my sights set on St. Mary's and Santa Clara. But I'm taking subject tests just in case. I'll probably only apply to Davis and perhaps UCLA, just because I like it yet havent been there.

I think I'm getting sick. My voice has been coming and going all week. I've been fighting fo rit to stay but right now, it's practically gone and it is so difficult for me to talk. I wonder who I got sick from? I know Kevin sounded sick last night, so maybe something is going around. But this cant happen to me because I have hecka shiz to do! (That sounded totally weird but also yesterday my mom got mad at me for cussing so now I'm trying to stop.) I only see this week as more craziness and not enough rest.*sigh*Guess I should finish homework and my halloween costume then go to bed early.

Not to sound suicidal or anything but I need something to live for/ look forward to. I need something to motivate and inspire me...

room_forlove @ 2006-10-19T23:29:00

2006-10-20T06:30:53Z

just came back from Jasmin's shop, I mean her parents' shop...

decorations are looking NICE.

I can't believe Spirit Week is almost here...I'm so awake right now. haha. I have a crazy amount of stuff to do tomorrow and on the weekend.

1. Finish layout for the Moreau newspaper

2. Senior Questionaire for recommendations

3. Dance & Skit practice

4. Halloween costume (I still cant decide what to be!)

5. TOGA TOGA TOGA!

6. All my stupid green day homework. Ugh. Hate those days.

7. FREAKS AND GEEKS! (Hopefully I can get the dvds from Vasean if he has them...)

Today was an okay day. Some not so HIGHlights of my day were: I didnt finish my pre-cal test (no one in my class did). I didnt get that much done in journalism, ahem. I didnt do physics homework that was due because I was at that college speaker thing and I cant make up that lab anytime soon because of Spirit Week. There's always more good things than bad in a day, I believe. I'm going to sleep now, however, and I'll leave it up to you who read this to ponder about what kinds of good things happen in just one day that we all take for granted.

have a good night=)

room_forlove @ 2006-10-15T16:28:00

2006-10-15T23:36:18Z

Watch "Freaks and Geeks."

Love James Franco.

Ugh. It's going to be Monday- AGAIN.

I never get to relax anymore...even on weekends!

But I was thinking about this yesterday and I realized I should be happy that I'm always doing something because when I grow up, what if I become some old person waiting around, trying to find something to do? I mean what if I have NOTHING to do when I'm older? I definitely don't want to be bored and feel as if I'm just wasting away.

SATs on Saturday- I'm praying to God that I made the score. I need that scholarship. Ah!

My aunt left on Saturday- I'm praying she arrived safely in Manila.

To- do List:

Advanced Comp Essay

Senior Questionaire <---gotta start on college apps!

FIND MY NICHE, MY VOICE.

Last night, I was very aware of everything. I'm not usually and I think no one really is. I'm talking about those rare moments when all your senses are completely awake, active, alive. You see the people running, walking, standing around you; you hear the people talking and laughing; you feel the atmosphere, nature- the wind...And you try to absorb it all. It's like I was just an observer. I was able to pull myself out of the picture, stand back, and just SEE. I love it when this happens. I may sound crazy but I do think I make sense, at least to myself. Maybe the problem is that I just dont know how to properly express myself...

yet.